Tonight I don't have words... only tears. I wish they could penetrate this electronic screen and inscribe themselves in a way that you could understand, that I could understand. Grief is a strange thing. Just when I think I've shed the last drop of moisture in my body somehow a fresh dam wells up, burning the insides of my eyelids, demanding to spill down my cheeks. I have to let it. It's part of the process of coping, dealing with separation, something the human heart was never designed to endure. I can't hold the tears inside. They would accumulate, building into solid blocks of something-freezing the emotions within my soul. The tears carry my questions, ensuring I am still alive. They are searching. They pull my heart towards heaven.
"Why, God?"
"I love you," He replies.
"But, why?"
"I'm here."
He catches the tear that falls down my cheek.
About Me
- Danielle
- Life is full of disappointments, pain, vulnerabilities. And in the midst of them moments of transformation pressing thin stems out of brokenness. In the past two years I have fallen in love and broken an engagement, mucked through subtleties of spiritual abuse, loved someone and watched them turn tail and run. Currently I work for a church, and the seeming reduction of God to programs and paperwork often leaves me raw and groping for more. It all finds me on a journey with grief, wrestling with myself and God, putting down honest words, and faced with more questions than I have answers. God fights to show me the mercy within the severe.
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